Parenthood. Why is it considered by so many people to be the only way for a woman to reach fulfillment? When we consider the twenty-four/seven daily and nightly care every child needs until he is old enough to be able to take care of himself it is enough to daunt even some of the bravest of us, if we would only stop to think about it before we begin. It is a lifetime proposition, and we truly are not the same people we were before we had any children.

          For many of us having a child is a chance to try to rectify what we see as the mistakes our parents made with us. I will never yell at my child the way that my mother yelled at me. Or, I will never pamper my child the way my parents pampered me, for by the time I left home, I didn’t knew almost nothing about what would be necessary to take care of myself. If there is one thing my child will know how to do when he leaves home, it will be how to take care of himself.

          There are so many promises we make to ourselves, but it isn’t till after that child is born, that child we have invested so much hope and angst from before he was even conceived, that we can begin to understand why our parents behaved the ways they did towards us. Growing up, and the understanding that comes with it, only begins the day we leave home in order to establish lives and families of our own. It is then that we begin to understand our parents more fully, for we can feel the passions that moved them running through us.

          Even so, we can choose how we will act, and what we will do with those feelings that arise from within us. We are not doomed to repeat the mistakes our parents made, though it may take years to work out alternative ways to deal with life, beyond making the same mistakes our parents made.

          It is true that our children carry not only our best and our worst into the future, but that of our parents, and their parents before them. Yes, watching an embryo personality unfold is one of the most exciting things in the world, but it takes courage and fortitude to guide a real human being into a future that we can only imagine, and it is not for everyone.